I personally believe that nobody is born with confidence. The different life experiences that people go through at a time can hinder confidence . This happens to some more than others, but nevertheless it happens. I think it's up to us to build our confidence where it should be . The road to do it is far from easy, but you gotta push through. Everyones journey to confidence is different . I decided to walk you through my confidence journey :) maybe you might resonate with my feelings and emotions .
Middle School
In middle school I was tiny ( I'm still pretty small ) and extremely nice ! I was so nice that people thought they could talk and treat me any kind of way. I went to a small school back then so people always had something to say about you even if you did nothing to them. I was surrounded by girls who were fully developed with boobs and booty and I had none LOL ! Boys would literally make fun out of me for not having a butt and it made me soo insecure . I even wore bras with extra padding to make it seem like I had a little something extra . Yes, it was that bad. I wanted to be " thick " like all the other girls so I would eat more too . Middle school was such a awkward stage for me. My confidence was definitely not where it needed to be . I was always sad because I was constantly comparing myself to other people . It wasn't until I joined the cheer team in the 7th grade that I built some confidence for myself ! I even won homecoming queen my 8th grade year. I would say that in middle school I learned to grow thicker skin and not everyone is your friend.
" Everyone has flaws and it is okay to own them "
High School
In high school my confidence was like a roller coaster. I was in a bad relationship from middle school to my freshman/sopomore year of high school .To be honest that relationship was the source of all my insecurities because I felt I was never good enough due to being cheated on so many times . On top of being cheated on, he would always point out my flaws which drove me insane. When I finally left that relationship that is when I finally started coming into my own. I had to learn how to love myself again !I got closer to God and I latched on to a great group of friends who really helped me with my confidence. I was still very nice, but this time around I was not having anybody cross me in the wrong way, PERIODT ! The way I dressed evolved in high school. I wore a school uniform my freshman year because I still lived in Louisiana (you could not wear regular clothes to school unless it was "dress down day "), but when I moved to New York I had to wear regular clothes. Can you imagine what that felt like for me . I wore school uniforms my whole school career in Louisiana so when I got to shop for clothes to wear for school it was cool to me . The only downside is picking something out to wear every single day. Wearing different clothes everyday allowed my to define my personal style better so that was a perk. My body started to fill-out when I moved to New York (finally) LOL. I wore what I wanted and what made me feel the most beautiful and that helped my confidence a lot ! I got braces too during high school and that really made me ten times more confident because I never really liked my smile before then. The journey to loving myself in high school was not easy, but I was happy with the progress I made and that made me proud of myself. I was learning to love myself . The lesson that I learned in high school was to be kind to myself. Everyone has flaws and it is okay to own them.
" I started to spread my wings and be my cute bubbly self "
College (currently)
I am still in college (Will be a senior in the fall) ! When I first started college I knew from the jump that I wanted to be involved so that is exactly what I did ! I joined my schools dance team and when I first started out on the team I didn't really have that much confidence in my abilities because I wasn't dancing for awhile and I thought I didn't have it in me . However, when you are around a group of individuals who are uplifting and want to see you at your best it helps a lot with self- esteem. I started building myself more and more by joining other clubs and being myself to everyone I met. I was a little reserved in high school only because I was still trying to come into my own as a person, but in college I really started to spread my wings and be my cute bubbly self :) I started to take more risks. I was doing things not to please other people, but to please myself ! Not gonna lie, I have my moments where I do doubt myself, but who doesn't ? I'm learning (slowly but surely) to trust my abilities and understand that what is for me is for me and everything will run its course.
Now
Right now ! I am living my best life :) I'm taking time to myself and I'm learning to be more confident as I go through this thing called life. I keep saying this but it’s never easy, but that is ok ! I have to keep telling myself that and I will continue to tell you guys that ! Remember Rome was not built in one day. The mind is a powerful thing and you gotta learn to take control of it ! Love your flaws the most because that is what makes you, you !
* These photos are from my Hot Girl Summer Series ❤️ Check it out on my Instagram”
Let me know in the comments what you love most about yourself ?
Until Next Time My Loves,
Twiggy Versatile xoxox
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